21
Mar
10

Thoughts on weddings

Or perhaps I should say, thoughts on wedding protocols.  Culture really does make such a difference when it comes to protocol.  I wonder if that is the same when it comes to RSVP ing an invitation?

There is always a deadline, of course, when you send out the invitation, but I often wonder what is the motivation for people waiting to respond until the very last second.  To me, you either know you are going to go and make your arrangements (travel, child care, whatever) and then RSVP and be done OR you know you AREN’T going and you RSVP and be done.  I just don’t get the wishy-washy wait for the last second thing.

I REALLY don’t get and don’t appreciate those who “just forget” or fail to respond at all. It is just plain rude and I don’t give a rat’s tail what your culture is!

With that being said, I do want to thank the ENTIRE Belgian contingency who has already RSVPd and made all necessary travel arrangements and lodging arrangements and even hair and nail arrangements!

So, I guess I am thinking about the Americans who received invitations.  Mostly family, mind you, and some friends…our deadline is still several weeks away, but I can already guarantee you that I will be on the phone the last week of April making calls. How sickening is that?   Bless Spec’s bridesmaids…they all offered to do this for me, and I might just let them because given how I feel about the whole, not responding thing, I’d likely permanently antagonize a relative or lose a friend.

Have you had this lovely experience? Invite people to a rather large and expensive party and then grovel to find out if they are coming to share their ‘specialness’ with you?  How’d you deal with it? (tasers are acceptable to me ;P )

Better yet, if you are one of THOSE that I was talking about in this entry, might you kindly enlighten me as to your motivation for your behavior? WHOOOOOOO are you?  Who–ooo are you? I really wanna know!

Nine weeks to go…..which makes retirement 8 weeks to go…..

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4 Responses to “Thoughts on weddings”


  1. March 22, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    OK, first I want to know if you think an email RSVP is ok, because the last two fancy invitations I’ve gotten, I’ve responded via email or evite. (On one of those occasions, the invite was sent by both snail mail and evite.)
    Second, I’d say that it does involve a lot more planning on the Belgians’ part than the Americans’ and we tend to deal with everything in terms of what needs immediate attention. (Of course, I’m not speaking for all Americans here, so I’ll stop saying ‘we’ and use my I-statements :)
    Follow-up is key. Following up in all forms of communication is helpful since we all have our “preferred” form. I’d send an evite to everyone, and a couple of weeks after that, follow up by personal email (with a link to the evite). Hopefully that will lessen the amount of phone calls you need to make.

  2. March 22, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    I’m going to respond to this via e-mail. ;-) I couldn’t agree with you more, though, about thoughtless people who just do this out of carelessness!

  3. March 23, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I was on the phone less then a week before my OWN wedding tracking down family members who didn’t RSVP but I KNEW were coming. I think it’s just how it goes.. Let the Bridesmaids do the calling for you. Stay out of it.

  4. March 31, 2010 at 10:00 am

    I never got the whole not RSVPing thing either. You either can or can’t go. And even if it is via e-mail, a response is still a response. It’s the failure to respond that is irritating. If you can’t go, just say so and vice versa.


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