02
Apr
08

Weiner/Wiener Wednesday

Yes, both spellings are acceptable!  Let’s define ‘weiner’:

1. a city in Arkansas, population in 1990= 665  (Proper noun)

2. a dachshund dog (adjective)

3. short for wienerwurst or frankfurter:  a cured cooked sausage (as of beef or beef and pork) that may be skinless or stuffed in a casing  (noun)

4. someone who does something that you cannot comprehend (noun)

5. part of the male anatomy (noun or verb depending on usage)

The deli’s selected definition for today: #4

Today I’ll share one of my moments as a true weiner (my family will NEVER let me live this one down)…enjoy with relish!

Picture this, a proud soccer mom standing on the sidelines…cheering, cheering, providing thunderous applause for the goalie who has done a real nice job in the game thusfar.

For those of you who may not be soccer moms or dads, soccer is a 4 season sport in Pittsburgh–outdoor in the spring (read that as don’t forget to bring the snow shovel and boots/umbrella and ducks-no chairs, they sink in the mud), outdoor in the summer (oh, yes-read that as bring a KEGGER of water, a Sam’s Club size bag of cut up oranges, your own lawn chair and bug repellant), outdoor in the fall (that reads-umbrella and ducks/stadium blanket and cushion and hot chocolate), and indoor in the winter (everyone should experience sitting in a freezer watching your children play soccer on a hockey rink-read that as thermal underwear, boots, layers of Steeler/Penguin clothing, gloves with insertable heatpaks)…we are a hearty and gloriously dedicated bunch…we LOVE our children sooooo much!

Anyhow, back to the weiner episode…there I am with the dedicated dude (I think I’ll call him DD from this point on)….and there is a sudden spurt of action on the field…the ball SOARS through the air, all of the soccer parents are screaming, the balls flies straight towards the goal,

and it DOES NOT GO IN…it is STOPPED BY THE GOALIE!!!  That’s my bouncin baby boy…that there goalie!!

Soccer mommy, AKA weiner, screams over the crowd, “NICE BLOCK SCOOT!” To which DD looks at me in disbelief…..

if

looks

could

kill……….ummmmm…….

WHAAAAAA?  Scoot was laying on the ground with blood pouring from his poor little bouncin baby boy nose and the coach was calling DD over to help the wounded wonder to the sidelines.

My daughter, Lilac (name changed to protect the innocent), also a soccer player, looked at me like I was a total nimrod—“weiner” would be the right term I believe and marched off to help her bro.

All of the other soccer parents kinda looked my way and I think I may have shriveled up a bit…kinda like one of those weiners that get overcooked and pucker up….

Honestly, I still told Scoot what a great job I thought he did stopping the ball with his face!  He just looked at me…

…that’s my mom, the weiner….

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2 Responses to “Weiner/Wiener Wednesday”


  1. April 3, 2008 at 4:48 am

    Awww…heh, as dorky as it was, we still knew you had your heart in the right place. Maybe not your eyeballs or your sense of decorum, but certainly your heart.

  2. 2 DD
    April 4, 2008 at 8:22 am

    Weiners are loveable,not always understandable,but loveable none the less


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