Happy Mother’s Day

Lilacspecs alluded to a rather interesting little story in her comment to me on the Nature blog entry a few days ago. Since it relates to Mother’s Day…I’ll share that story with you and my thoughts about being a mom.

It was 1979 and DD and I were trying all kinds of things to get pregnant. You see, I am one of those people who couldn’t quite get it done just by doing the deed. Nooo, first there was the basal thermometer charts. Lovely, wake up and pop a thermometer in your mouth (thank God) and chart the temperature. Watch the little graph, and theeeeeen…slam, bam, thank you maam! Wait……..Urine test = negative. (this was before EPT…they didn’t come out until Bouncin Baby Boy)

Next, there was the Huener Test. What might that be, you ask? Well, we wake up in the morning to some ‘delight’…then turn around and put one’s feet up on the wall above one’s head for an hour. Then said couple goes to the OB to check the swimmers. Drum roll, are they living or dying? Are they swimming or floating in circles on their own private lazy river ride? Are there enough big heads to make a difference? Answer to all of these things was positive meaning that I wasn’t ALLERGIC TO MY HUSBAND! This is a good thing.

Next comes the clomid; The first level of fertility drug.

Month one = negative
Month two = negative
Month three = negative….patience….patience……………
Month four = BINGO

After more than a solid year of trying…the clomid hooked us up. Now, I was also considered a high-risk since we had to go beyond the normal dance to get to where we were, so the OB had me on watch. Six weeks, so far, so good. (NO MORNING SICKNESS AT ALL!!!) 10 weeks time for a check up…”hmmmmmmm” he says…”Are you spotting?” Not that I had noticed….well, let’s head for a sonogram.

So, 11 weeks, I go in for a sonogram and look at a blob of I don’t know what on the screen and think how waaaay cool this is that you can see this… (do remember that this was 29 years ago and the sonograms then were absolutely ancient compared to what you lucky ladies see today)…and as typical, the technician says that my doctor will call me with the report.

Doc says, you’re going to spot, so take it easy. OK, then…….12 weeks, BLOOD, cramps, more blood, quick trip to the Emergency Room and my OB says, “You miscarried. We need to do a DC&E.” Trip to surgery, wake up NEEDING/DEMANDING an Arby’s Jamocha shake.

Then the realization set in…sad, angry, desperation, frustration, depression. Why can’t my stinking body get this right? This is supposed to be one of my primary functions (a la nature) and I am a failure. It really didn’t matter to me how many other people had miscarriages, cause mine was the one that mattered.

OK. I just could not start trying to do this again…I had to get myself distracted…this was April 1980. My job as a Speech and Language Pathologist in the schools was not enough of a distraction and it was my great fortune that my favorite professor from my masters program happened to call me to ask if I knew anyone who might be interested in a doctoral program for Deaf Education. Well, DUH! I said “Me, I would love to do that.”

Sooooo, I applied for an educational leave from my job and got it and prepared to become a doctoral student at the University of Pittsburgh. That really cheered me up…in college is where I learned to LOVE school and learning…I hated my teachers in high school…as Lilac likes to say…they were asshats…I digress…

So, August rolls around and I go to my orientation. Sooooo cool to be back in school (and being PAID for it…I was there on a grant…so I was a Graduate Student Assistant and got to supervise student teachers and other fun stuff in addition to taking my classes).

Ummmmm, no period. Whaat? Urine test= negative. A week later, no period. Damnit, Urine Test= negative. Call the OB and ask “What the hell is going on?” He says to go for the blood test. I go for the blood test that is 99% accurate and it is negative. So I call and say “Give me the pills that bring on a period (I forget the name of them right now but had used them a bunch of times during this period to get my period going in the right direction)…he said, “No, just do one more urine test and come in to see me Monday morning.”

OK, so it’s been almost 8 weeks since I had a period and all the tests were NEGATIVE. And, I start thinking, TUMOR…goddamnit..I have an f-ing tumor. So, I go and take the test (now also remember that these had to be taken to the hospital every time…again…I am talking about ‘the rabbit died’ period of time in medical history) And I drop off the urine to the smiling lady and head home totally and completely sure that I have a lousy tumor and that is going to get in the way of me starting my doctoral studies. DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT!

Baaaaaad, stressful weekend. I had the first appointment Monday morning. So, I head in to the office and go to check in with the nurse and she says, “Morning Diane…so, where would you like to deliver?” I screamed “WHAT?” and fainted dead away on the floor. No kidding…..fainted.

The entire family knew I was pregnant before I left the office because my 1st cousin was my OB’s accountant and he was in his office doing his books and heard the whole thing!

Needless to say, they ran out and revived me, got me into a chair as I sat sobbing and incredulous and RELIEVED.

So, the big headed swimmers got the job done all on their own and my eggs decided to shoot down the tube when they were supposed to and VOILA….I got a BABY, NOT a TUMOR!

So, May 30, 1981 (traditional Memorial Day–how appropriate is that?!)…at 10:15 AM Lilacspecs entered my world at 9 pounds 6 ounces….GORGEOUS baby girl….

The birth is a whole separate story that I may be encouraged to tell at a later time…….

What does being a mother mean to me?

It is a miracle of nature,

 It is a heaven sent job that never ends,

It is a way of loving that you never knew you had the capacity for,

It is perpetual worry and yet you are HAPPY to own that worry,

It is a gift like no other gift you can receive,

It is a reason for living,

It is having a friend for life,

It is NOT EASY, but then, nothing worthwhile is ever easy, nor should it be,


It is a BLESSING to be a mother, to share your life with another person who is a part of you, to help support, guide, encourage, love,

It means the world to know that you have made a difference by bringing someone wonderful into the world to share in all the world has to offer and what they can offer the world,

I thank God everyday for my little ‘tumor’!

Happy Mother’s Day!


4 Responses to “Happy Mother’s Day”

  1. 2 DD
    May 12, 2008 at 7:02 am

    As father to the “tumor”,I must say “What a lifelong delight she is!” As to all things being a “mother as you describe”,you’ve done them all three times over.What a special woman you are–
    Love DD

  2. 3 Carrie
    May 12, 2008 at 9:26 am

    Thank you for sharing that story……Happy “belated” Mother’s Day!

  3. 4 judie
    May 12, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    what a story! you certainly have a knack. she sure did turn out o.k., didn’t she????

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