reflections on: my mind

That would be “What’s on your Mind?” the TV show I was in that aired last night.

I know that humility is a saintly thing…screw sainthood…

I. WAS. GOOD.   




I LOOK JUST LIKE MY MOTHER!  OMG, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a rather wonderful thing because my mother was a rather beautiful woman. (Humility isn’t one of my strong suits and I am NOT SAYING I am beautiful-my husband can say that if he wants)  But she was beautiful in a way that I am very proud to emulate. She always spoke well and presented herself with aplomb; a kind of stateliness.  I just kind of watched myself as objectively as I was able and was amazed.

I looked over at DD after my segment and said, I LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER; DAMN, I WAS GOOD! 

And at one point not too long ago, I would have burst into tears at the memories that would have come flooding back….for you yearlong readers, you know what I am talking about…for the newcomers, I lost my mom to the ravages of a very ugly cancer in 2003 and quite honestly have yet to deal with it completely…I still detest God and I doubt sincerely that I would ever undergo a stitch of treatment should I ever be diagnosed with the disease. But I digress…

My mom was a masterful speaker. She grabbed you and didn’t let you go and you didn’t want to be let go!  I miss her. Watching me was almost like watching her, and she would have been SO PROUD. That is what stuck with me this time…not the flood of tears, but that internal pat on the back-you done good- way to go girl (thanks to DBT therapy)….I could feel her smile (writing that brings tears to my eyes, but the good ones…not the depressed one) and hear her say “Diane, you were wonderful. I am so proud of you!”


THANKS, mom!

p.s. For those who have asked: We did burn it to CD and are now trying to figure out how to post it to this blog or to YouTube. Stay tuned.


4 Responses to “reflections on: my mind”

  1. March 25, 2009 at 5:29 am

    Did Grandpa see it too?

  2. March 25, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Awww, don’t make me cry – I’m at work! Can’t wait to see it, and no, not to judge harshly 🙂

  3. March 26, 2009 at 2:31 am

    oooh can’t wait to see it.

    And sending you a big cuddle.

  4. April 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Lots of hugs your way.. and I cannot wait to see it!! So exciting!!

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