heeeeeeeere’s the mammogram!

WARNING: If you really don’t want to take a look at my anatomy, DO NOT read further. This isn’t meant to be a peep show…but a demo of what a mammogram looks like from the patient’s perspective! WARNING!!!

Smashing Plates Await

Smashing Plates Await

I decided to wait until I got the report back, and just like with the endoscopy and colonoscopy…all is good in the bewbie region.

It always amazes me how people are intimidated by this procedure. Granted it is not the #1 comfortable procedure to have…gentlemen who may be reading…..imagine…

stand in front of an ice cold machine with two opposing plexiglass (or some similar material) plates waiting to clamp down on those globs of skin, fat, milk ducts, and connective tissue that men lust after (makes it sound so appetizing doesn’t it! SNORT!)

Place one arm up on a pole shaped handle and the technician lifts old RB and places it on the lower plate…turn your body to be in the correct position, ahhh, turn a bit more, get RB back on the plate (I don’t have the large economy size mammary glands,so usually the technician has to replace me on the plate a few times)…ok, now hold that position while the top plate comes gliding down on the properly placed RB and SQUISHES the puppy as flat as it can get…..tech says, don’t breathe…no shit…take the picture. Picture is taken and the top plate slides up.

Repeat for LB, and LB is always a stubborn bugger. It usually takes several shifts of my body and several placements of said tissue on the plate before LB is ready for her portrait. Arm up, hold the tubular handle, plate lowering commences, LB flattening complete….SMILE for the picture and VOILA…that’s it.

It really isn’t painful, just a tad uncomfortable for the minute that RB and LB are squished flat. The worst part? You CANNOT wear any deodorant or powders before you have the mammogram. Imagine not being scheduled for this marvelous test until later in the day…I could empty a room under those conditions. And, yes, I DID take these pictures and you should’ve seen that process…the tech had to get special permission for me to do this and I must have thanked her a hundred times for her cooperation because she WAS NOT HAPPY about my little attempts at informing my public.

Anyhow, this is meant to be my PSA to encourage all you women out there (and men too who might feel a lump-cause this disease affects men too and you fellas need to get your mammogram if you do feel a lump!) Go, get your annual mammogram! Your own RBs and LBs will thank you.






10 Responses to “heeeeeeeere’s the mammogram!”

  1. July 25, 2009 at 1:10 am


    I’m sorry, I can’t help but laugh at the censored nipples.

    Good on you for going and taking pictures and demystifying a procedure we like to discuss in hushed tones.

  2. 2 pcuser1961
    July 26, 2009 at 9:49 am

    Every woman should take that mammogram..Its for you’re health…

    Cancer is an awfull desaese..

    Thx for sharing !!!

    Have a nice sunday

  3. July 26, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Brava, Hotmama! This is very, very important. I’ll definitely link to it, if that’s okay. You ROCK.

  4. July 26, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    I agree with Jen of a2eatwrite (again). You most definitely rock!

  5. July 27, 2009 at 4:52 am

    Mammograms are important, I know. I’m afraid mine will break the machine…hopefully I have a reduction before my first mammogram.

    But seriously, that’s hysterical! I thought you were going to post those sonagrammy type pics of the mammogram (y’know, the ones you put on the fridge sometimes?) not actual smushed boobs!

    And the tech had a problem with this? That’s ridiculous. With all the forms and consent crap they make people sign nowadays, you’d think you’d have the right to photgraph your own damn boob.

    Anyway, this is pretty gutsy mum. Way to go!

  6. July 29, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    That is awesome! Thanks for the reminder. So proud of you for this one. My boobs hurt just looking at the pics.

  7. 7 judie
    July 29, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    there are no boundaries that you are willing cross, are there? you are 1 of a kind! love you for it
    p.s. you are lucky you are so small, not like some of us that really experience the jaws of life 😦 right korie?

  8. 9 allie
    December 11, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    wow ur brave i would never do that on the internetbut but ur doing it for a good cause

  9. 10 allie
    December 11, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    props 4 u …. rock on chica

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