17
Aug
09

LMP – August 2007 so WTF was that this morning????!!!!!

LMP for those of your who might not know that one is: Last Monthly Period. A question that every female gets asked every time they visit ANY doctor. Why a dermatologist needs to know LMP, I don’t know!

 

Anyhow, my LMP was somewhere around August 2007, maybe a tad earlier, but once the old red menace is gone, one tends to forget those exact dates. At least, this ‘ONE’ did.

 

So, I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with hot flashes and have talked about it in previous posts, I’m sure- I’m too lazy to go back and find some of them for you- . I have tried everything I could to get the flashes to stop…diet, homeopathic drugs and other remedies, chiropractic, you name it…I tried it all in the effort to avoid hormones.

 

Enough of that shit. This year I had enough of waking up in puddles and glowing in the dark (I wonder if Edward Cullen would have found that attractive??) When I had my gynie appointment I asked him to give me DRUGS! Please, put me on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and the blessed man said ‘yes’.

 

So, I get a script for Femhrt which is a very, very low dose HRT (like .5 mg) and it is a combo estrogen and progesterone to keep things in balance the way they should be. He said it may take a month to get relief from the flashes, but he was fairly certain this would help.

 

RIGHT he was. It didn’t tale more than 2 weeks to notice a significant drop in hot flashes and the really awful ones in the middle of the night were just about completely gone. WOOHOO.

 

That was until the morning. So, I wake up and start my usual AM routine. Head for the potty for, well, you know, no need to explain that and I sit down and 

 

WTF…WTF????????

 

There where NOTHING should be is

 

 

THE RED MENACE—-bwahahahahahahahaha

 

It has been over 2 years, TWO FRICKIN YEARS and TA-DA…thar she blows!

 

Um, erm, is this      like       normal???

 

So, I calls me my wonderbar gynie and asked that question….and here is the response:

 

Well, Diane, actually, yes. This is not unusual. In fact, you may get a period for the next three months. It should stop after that, call me if it doesn’t.

 

So, yet again I have become a potential baby vessel. Not really, I was ‘fixed’ after I had my son, but SURROGATE anyone??  Perhaps a Hollywood hottie who doesn’t want to damage her carriage would be interested in hiring me  out? A potential job post-retirement??

 

Pshaw—all joshing aside…I actually told the doc that if this was the price I had to pay to not have hot flashes anymore, well then, bring on the tampons.

 

On a really positive side, and of course, there is a really positive side to this…my hair will now glow again, my skin (which hadn’t yet started showing the signs of age from lack of estrogen) will now continue to be supple and beautiful (I’m such a snot, I know), and maybe, JUST MAYBE I will finally be able to lose some weight and lose that disgusting menopause-middle that I got all of a sudden two years ago!

 

 

Now, I wonder if I might attract some of those incredibly yummy vampires from Twilight or True Blood *snigger*

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4 Responses to “LMP – August 2007 so WTF was that this morning????!!!!!”


  1. August 17, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Wow. Thanks for the warning.
    BTW, I left a comment in response to your comment on my education post. I really appreciate your thoughtful input, Diane!

  2. August 18, 2009 at 2:45 am

    Neener neener haha!!!

    Although actually, this scares me. I can only judge when/what menopause will be like from you and Aunt Fran and it looks like I’ll be dead before the change of life is finished.

  3. August 18, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    Ugh… my mom went through that, too. But I’m glad your hot flashes are in the past. That’s a great thing right there.


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